Wordful Wednesday - Sayonara, sucker.

I hate to jinx this glorious situation, but I think it's finally safe to say that we've done away with the pacifier for good.

I told Dennis about all the talk of cutting part of the pacifier off with scissors (thanks again for all of your ideas and stories), and the moment we decided to dive in head first and DO THIS THING, he went to the kitchen and just flat out whacked that sucker in half. I was thinking more along the lines of a not-so-obvious cut in the end of it, but I didn't give him precise instructions, so...we just went with it.




She put it in her mouth, scrunched up her little eybrows, took it out and looked at us like, "Dude! WHAT the?!?"

This was followed by a series of putting it in, taking it out, putting it in, taking it out.

And then...oh, then all hell broke loose.

She utters this long string of thoughts, and we began to wonder if we pretty much made the biggest mistake ever...

"It's broke! What happened? Fix it! Daddy?!?! FIX it! What happened! Mommy? Kiss it!"

Because Daddy fixes things, and I kiss her owies. But, Daddy wasn't going to fix this, and no amount of kisses from me would make it all better.

BREAK. my. HEART!

Into a million little pieces.

I think it would be safe to say that Dennis and I were both fighting back tears.

You'd have thought we just told her the Wiggles were checked into rehab and wouldn't be released for 28 more days. She took it that hard.

The kid was devastated with a capital D. And her tears weren't part of a fit or a tantrum - it was pretty much just pure heartbreak.

You better believe we were questioning our decision. I'm freaking out thinking my child is going to end up in therapy someday because I gave her a broken pacifier. Please. Give me a break, right? But her big old alligator tears did that big of a number on me.

Once she calmed down later that night, she'd occasionally pick it up, put it in her mouth once, and then set it down and say, "It's broke." And that was that.

Getting her to bed was nothing short of a miracle, but she eventually went to sleep. And so did we.

And we all woke up the next morning and lived to tell the tale.

Since then, we've left some of the broken ones around the house and she just keeps telling us they're broken, but that's it. No tears. No sadness. As if it's no big thing.

The one significant change is that now, for breakfast each morning, she tells us matter-of-factly, "I need a cookie." Maybe she's dealing with it in her own special way like so many of us girls do. Cookies.

So, one really rough night, and a few days and at least an entire box of Thin Mints (we all remember the depths I'll go to for my Thin Mints, right?) later, we're no worse for the wear.

We've conquered one huge struggle, and now we just wait for the next one that's lurking it's ugly head around the corner, waiting to pounce on us.

But, I've got a box of Thin Mints hidden in the freezer, so we are good to go, people. Good to GO.

(This post is a part of Wordful Wednesdays, hosted by Angie at 7 Clown Circus.)

Because emotional eating rocks my face off

But it makes my butt grow.

Oh well. I don't even care.

Have I ever told you how much I love food? Well, I do. I frickin' love it, man.

Today you have the privilege of reading about my current Top 5 foods to stuff my face with when I need to partake of some good old fashioned emotional eating.

1. Thin Mints. In case you didn't know this, Thin Mints are little pieces of heaven. They're sent Fed Ex to the Girl Scouts - overnighted, actually - straight from the angels. I'm not even lying. Thin Mints are a seasonal item on my emotional eating menu, so how about we move along to some of the regulars, eh?

2. PIZZA. Nothin' like a good ol' slice of greasy, cheesy pizza, with pepperoni, course. Mmm, and sprinkled with parmesan cheese on top, to soak up that extra grease and make me feel a little better about consuming a triangle shaped clogged artery. I think it's probably one of my favorite food items EVER.

3. Mashed potatoes with butter and brown gravy. These have always been toward the top of my list, and they were also one of my cravings during pregnancy. I work at a hospital, so it's safe for you to assume that I bring my lunch whenever I can because, well - hospital food? Ew. BUT, if there's one thing our hospital does a damn good job of, it's making mashed potatoes with brown gravy. When I was pregnant, I ate my lunch and then decided the baby was still hungry, so I went and ordered some mashed potatoes with brown gravy. The server must have seen the ravenous look in my eyes because he gave me an entire plate full of them, but didn't charge me extra. Smart move. I came back to the table with my co-workers and enjoyed my potatoes as they sat and watched me mow through them like a cow in a clover field. Jaws were on the floor, people.

4. Chocolate. Particularly Ghirardelli caramel chocolate squares, but any chocolate will do really. Hershey's Kisses, Hershey's Hugs, chocolate friggin' CAKE, Dove bite-sized chocolates, Kit Kats, Twix bars. Chocolate makes anything better. It really does. In fact, I'm wondering if I should maybe talk to a drug company about making a chocolate pill and marketing it as an anti-depressant. I think it would work. But that's just my opinion, and what do I know...

5. French Fries. But, they can't be too thick and potato-ey. I'm talking In 'N Out style fries. Fresh, hot, salty, not soggy and slightly crispy, with not too much potato. Oh, I can just imagine the greasy goodness right now. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

And now - I must go to work, and on my way there I shall pray for a miracle. Let us bow our heads together and pray that mashed potatoes are on the menu.

Amen.

*This post is a part of Friday High Five hosted by Angel's Adventures and Minor Mishaps.

Things are about to get ugly around here.

We only have two Thin Mint cookies left.

Dennis and I have very strict rules about the consumption of Girl Scout cookies. There is no other girl scout cookie I want besides Thin Mints. He loves those friggin' chocolate/caramel/coconut ones - I can't remember the name.

Anyway, I'm not so crazy about coconut on cookies, or anything for that matter.

So, when one if his students tried to sell him cookies, he bought himself a box of the coconut whatevers, and he got me a box of Thin Mints.

The rule is this: Dennis may NOT under ANY circumstances eat ANY of my Thin Mints.

My rationale? It's just not fair. I don't like his cookies, so I'm not going to eat any of them. Therefore, I want each and every one of my Thin Mints all for myself. Not too much to ask, right?

Well, he likes to mess with me and try to steal my cookies, so I had to come up with a plan. I discovered that if I put the box of cookies under the cushion of the papasan chair in our room, he would never find them. We rarely sit in the chair these days, so there was no risk of squishing the cookies.

Wouldn't ya know... a couple days ago I'm on the phone, and Kaylee starts fussing. We all happen to be in our room, so Dennis gets ready to pop a squat in the papasan chair and try to calm Kaylee down.

This results in me fanatically flailing my arms in an attempt to get him to NOT sit on the cushion and crush the cookies that were hidden. Thank heavens I saved the cookies, but I lost my hiding place, and I've been moving them to new hiding places at random times to try and throw him off my trail.

I think I've been successful in ensuring that every last cookie is consumed by ME and ONLY ME.

However, we now have a problem. There are only 2 left. And I want to eat them both. Right now. But then I won't have any more. Oh, what ever will I do...