Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Bustin' out the mommy superpowers

Ok, it's time for another awesome guest post. This time, it's coming from Jenners over at Life With a Little One and More. Jenners is an amazing writer, and she will just keep you in stitches with her humor. She's also an avid reader and has a book blog as well. When you're done reading this post, please go check her blogs: Life With a Little One and More and Find Your Next Book Here.


So when my blogging buddy Sera asked me to write a guest post for her most excellent blog, I immediately said "Yes!" Then I immediately said, "But what should I write about?" Sera came up with the most excellent prompt: Superpowers that were activated the moment you became a mom. So here you go -- the amazing superpowers that came to me when I became a mom. How many do you have?
  • The ability to deal with disgusting bodily fluids without throwing up. My entire life, I've been a sympathy gagger. If you throw up, I'll throw up. If I smell throw up, I'll throw up. If I see someone throw up, I'll throw up. I clearly remember a day inkindergarten . All of us kids were lined up in the hall and a kid threw up. The smell made me throw up. Then a bunch of other kids down the line threw up. It was like vomiting kiddominoes . But the moment I became a mom, I was able to deal with all kinds of disgusting things coming from my child without feeling even slightly nauseous -- even when my son vomited all over my face and shirt. However -- and this is important -- this superpower applies to your own children only. If I see someone else's child throw up, my stomach heaves and the nausea descends. And when my husband caught a stomach bug and was vomiting all over the place, I could not be within 10 feet of him without feeling sick.
  • The ability to see signs of genius based on what others might call "very little evidence." I don't know about your child, but my child is a genius. When he was just 2 days old, he was showing the reflexes of a 8-day old! Although thepediatrician persists in saying my son is undergoing "normal development," I know better. What other 4-year-old answers "razzmatazz " in response to the question "What is your favorite color?" (It is so a real color! Just check the 120-color crayon box.) Although he may seem like a normal 4-year-old boy to you, I am his mother and my superpowers allow me to see the genius within. You see a scribble; I see Picasso. You hear acacophonous banging, I hear the next Keith Moon (drummer for the Who). You hear a boring, repetitive story; I hear the next Faulkner. You see a kid throwing a tantrum; I see a future Oscar winner.
  • The ability to tell lies without even thinking about it. (Or, if you are morally opposed to lying, call this "the ability to provide plausible explanations at the drop of a hat to suit your own purposes.") I have never been a good liar, but once I became a mom, I found myself able to think up and perpetuate amazingly complex lies quickly and easily. Consider how I deal with the biggest lie of all -- Santa Claus. As my son has gotten older (and remember, I'm dealing with a genius here), he's thrown a bunch of questions at me about exactly how the whole Santa things works. "What if you don't have a fireplace? How does he fit everything into the sleigh? How does he watch me all the time and watch all the other kids?I don't understand why I have to donate some of my toys to Goodwill -- why doesn't Santa bring toys to all the poor children who don't have toys?" I've faced all of these questions and been able to come up with a brilliant lie each and every time. (Well, except for the poor children one. That is a doozy. Even my superpowers couldn't come up with a good answer for that one.) And I've become a master at telling little white lies: "We can't stop atMcDonald's ; the sign says they are closed for renovations." "Oh darn...the ice cream place just closed --they close at 3:00 p.m. in the summer." "That toy is only for children who eatbroccoli every night. It says so on the box." I sure hope this superpower adapts as my son learns to read and write.
  • The ability to fall asleep anytime, anywhere, anyplace. Some may call it "a normal reaction to sleep deprivation," but I call it a superpower. Ever since I became a mom, I've been able to sleep inuncomfortable situations without any advance notice -- even if I just woke up 45 minutes before. I could be at a very noisy party and if there is a lull in the conversation, I'll just drift right off -- even if I'm standing up and have a drink in my hand.
  • The ability to love and be more selfless than you ever thought possible. I've always been a fairly selfish person. I tend to like things arranged to best suit my needs. Like many others, I've always felt the world revolved around me. (Just ask my mother.) But when I became a mother, I found that I was gifted with a capacity for love that blew away any kind of love I had ever felt before. (Apologies to my husband ... I love you, sweetie, but it just isn't on the same level.) In addition, I was suddenly able to putsomeone's needs ahead of my own without being filled with seething resentment. If I was filled with hunger, I would still take care of my son's needs first. "Mommy's empty stomach be damned. Baby needs a diaper change!" This superpower amazed and surprised me -- and is perhaps the only one that allows me to handle this very difficult and challenging thing called motherhood.


TheSingleGirl said...

Great blog.
I agree with absolutely everything...especially the first Superpower...
Diaper blowouts? Unphased.
Someone farts in a public bathroom? Cue the gag reflex.
::Big shrug as I gag thinking about public bathrooms::

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

That was an awesome guest post! I can relate to all the super powers that seemed dormant until the Princess Nagger was born... ;)

septembermom said...

Great guest post, Jenners! I've become a creative liar over the years too. I see how Little One keeps you on your toes with those follow up questions:) The selfless love is definitely the greatest mom super power. Thanks Sera for inviting Jenners to guest post and giving me the chance to visit your lovely blog:)

ptwammy said...

Yep, you definitely get the superpowers you listed when you become a Mom. Your post is great! This is the third time I've read it!

Anonymous said...

Very funny - and true!

Amazingly I've developed very similar superpowers since becoming a mother too!

Great post, Jenners! And thanks Sera for inviting her over.

Michelle said...


It's especially true of my child being a genius.

Heather said...

I love Jenners! This post is wonderful. :)

Jen said...

this is a fabulous post! I too have those super powers, especially the sleep one. It is kinda amazing.

Sneaky Momma said...

Isn't being a mom wonderful? Who knew that superpowers were part of the package? The sudden ability to hold my pee for hours (not really, but it seemed like hours) while holding a nursing baby completely surprised me. :)