Because emotional eating rocks my face off.

An oldie, but a goody, brought to you circa March 13, 2009.

*****

But it makes my butt grow.

Oh well. I don't even care.

Have I ever told you how much I love food? Well, I do. I frickin' love it, man.

Today you have the privilege of reading about my current Top 5 foods to stuff my face with when I need to partake of some good old fashioned emotional eating.

1. Thin Mints. In case you didn't know this, Thin Mints are little pieces of heaven. They're sent Fed Ex to the Girl Scouts - overnighted, actually - straight from the angels. I'm not even lying. Thin Mints are a seasonal item on my emotional eating menu, so how about we move along to some of the regulars, eh?

2. PIZZA. Nothin' like a good ol' slice of greasy, cheesy pizza, with pepperoni, course. Mmm, and sprinkled with parmesan cheese on top, to soak up that extra grease and make me feel a little better about consuming a triangle shaped clogged artery. I think it's probably one of my favorite food items EVER.

3. Mashed potatoes with butter and brown gravy. These have always been toward the top of my list, and they were also one of my cravings during pregnancy. I work at a hospital, so it's safe for you to assume that I bring my lunch whenever I can because, well - hospital food? Ew. BUT, if there's one thing our hospital does a damn good job of, it's making mashed potatoes with brown gravy. When I was pregnant, I ate my lunch and then decided the baby was still hungry, so I went and ordered some mashed potatoes with brown gravy. The server must have seen the ravenous look in my eyes because he gave me an entire plate full of them, but didn't charge me extra. Smart move. I came back to the table with my co-workers and enjoyed my potatoes as they sat and watched me mow through them like a cow in a clover field. Jaws were on the floor, people.

4. Chocolate. Particularly Ghirardelli caramel chocolate squares, but any chocolate will do really. Hershey's Kisses, Hershey's Hugs, chocolate friggin' CAKE, Dove bite-sized chocolates, Kit Kats, Twix bars. Chocolate makes anything better. It really does. In fact, I'm wondering if I should maybe talk to a drug company about making a chocolate pill and marketing it as an anti-depressant. I think it would work. But that's just my opinion, and what do I know...

5. French Fries. But, they can't be too thick and potato-ey. I'm talking In 'N Out style fries. Fresh, hot, salty, not soggy and slightly crispy, with not too much potato. Oh, I can just imagine the greasy goodness right now. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

And now - I must go to work, and on my way there I shall pray for a miracle. Let us bow our heads together and pray that mashed potatoes are on the menu.

Amen.

*This post is a part of Friday High Five hosted by Angel's Adventures and Minor Mishaps.