I've had a significant amount of time off from work this month (not by choice), and while it made me apprehensive at first due to the fact that I'd be wondering how we might make ends meet, I am now SO grateful for it. And wouldn't you know...I was able to get extra shifts and we'll be just fine.
I haven't been blogging as much lately because I'm trying to keep my priorities in line. Writing is something I'll always need to do. I have to get things out, and I want to be able to look back on all my posts someday to remember all the little things that may otherwise be forgotten. Part of me feeling peaceful about where my priorities are has meant less time on the computer, less time reading blogs, less time blogging, less time commenting. And while I felt some guilt about that initially, I decided to just get over it.
Right now, I've got no regrets about how I spend my time. I'm playing with my daughter, taking her out on errands with me, teaching her things, learning things from her, making time to exercise and to - (are you sitting down?) cook healthy, wholesome foods for my family. We're talking fresh fruits and veggies, high protein, low fat, limited processed stuff and recipes we've never tried before. I know. What has come over me? I now spend more time reading books than I do on the computer, and that is one change that I am so glad I made. I've already finished 4 books this month, and I hope to finish one more by the end of the month.
Kaylee is just more of a sponge every single day, and she's cracking us up so much. From asking us, "What happedid?" during a commercial on one of her shows, or during the very short break between songs on a CD, to blaming her own farts on Dennis, we are just loving this stage of being parents. And yes, she seriously blamed a fart on Dennis. How can a child who is not even two yet even know that's an option? She farted the other day and then said, "Daddy FART!" and started laughing.
She now sings her ABCs up to the letter K, knows her colors, and counts to 9 (I know, budding Baby Genius over here).
My parents were incredible teachers to us growing up. They took every opportunity to help us learn about ourselves and the world around us. It just really instilled a love of learning in me, and I've always looked forward to the time when I could pass that on to my own children, and now I'm seeing the results of it.
I feel like this time - right now - is what I envisioned when I pictured motherhood. This interaction, this bonding, and the joy and laughter she brings to us (coupled with, of course, an overwhelming sense to protect her, to worry about her, and to be overcome by frustration with her, at times) - this is what I wanted. At the beginning, I just didn't realize it might take so much time to get here.
Of course there have been good moments at all the stages of her life, but it was so hard for me to just relax and enjoy things for such a long a time at the beginning. There was a mean, nasty adjustment period I hadn't counted on. I didn't realize that, at first, there would be so little sleep and so much stress. I expected so many fun times right away, but that's not how it works.
And what I didn't realize is this time - right now - is like the ultimate prize for surviving the first few months.