It's such a travesty

There is not a single piece of chocolate in this house right now.

How did that EVER happen?

Never again...

Because emotional eating rocks my face off

But it makes my butt grow.

Oh well. I don't even care.

Have I ever told you how much I love food? Well, I do. I frickin' love it, man.

Today you have the privilege of reading about my current Top 5 foods to stuff my face with when I need to partake of some good old fashioned emotional eating.

1. Thin Mints. In case you didn't know this, Thin Mints are little pieces of heaven. They're sent Fed Ex to the Girl Scouts - overnighted, actually - straight from the angels. I'm not even lying. Thin Mints are a seasonal item on my emotional eating menu, so how about we move along to some of the regulars, eh?

2. PIZZA. Nothin' like a good ol' slice of greasy, cheesy pizza, with pepperoni, course. Mmm, and sprinkled with parmesan cheese on top, to soak up that extra grease and make me feel a little better about consuming a triangle shaped clogged artery. I think it's probably one of my favorite food items EVER.

3. Mashed potatoes with butter and brown gravy. These have always been toward the top of my list, and they were also one of my cravings during pregnancy. I work at a hospital, so it's safe for you to assume that I bring my lunch whenever I can because, well - hospital food? Ew. BUT, if there's one thing our hospital does a damn good job of, it's making mashed potatoes with brown gravy. When I was pregnant, I ate my lunch and then decided the baby was still hungry, so I went and ordered some mashed potatoes with brown gravy. The server must have seen the ravenous look in my eyes because he gave me an entire plate full of them, but didn't charge me extra. Smart move. I came back to the table with my co-workers and enjoyed my potatoes as they sat and watched me mow through them like a cow in a clover field. Jaws were on the floor, people.

4. Chocolate. Particularly Ghirardelli caramel chocolate squares, but any chocolate will do really. Hershey's Kisses, Hershey's Hugs, chocolate friggin' CAKE, Dove bite-sized chocolates, Kit Kats, Twix bars. Chocolate makes anything better. It really does. In fact, I'm wondering if I should maybe talk to a drug company about making a chocolate pill and marketing it as an anti-depressant. I think it would work. But that's just my opinion, and what do I know...

5. French Fries. But, they can't be too thick and potato-ey. I'm talking In 'N Out style fries. Fresh, hot, salty, not soggy and slightly crispy, with not too much potato. Oh, I can just imagine the greasy goodness right now. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

And now - I must go to work, and on my way there I shall pray for a miracle. Let us bow our heads together and pray that mashed potatoes are on the menu.

Amen.

*This post is a part of Friday High Five hosted by Angel's Adventures and Minor Mishaps.

Yo Claim Jumper...you WILL be mine.

Betcha can't guess where I'm going to lunch today...

Chocolate mother lode cake, personal pepperoni pizza and delectable salad with Asian pears, candied walnuts, raspberries and citrus dressing...

You will be mine. Oh yes. You will be mine.

It brings me such joy

Joy-ous: /ˈdʒɔɪəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [joi-uhs]

–adjective
joyful; happy; jubilant

When you become a mom, you discover that joy is found in places you never expected it to be found.

Joy is realizing that wretched smell was actually just a baby fart and not a fully loaded diaper.

Joy is getting to the store and realizing that the cheapest formula on the shelf also happens to have a THREE DOLLAR COUPON attached to it.

Joy is finally getting more than 4 hours of sleep. Consecutively.

Joy is realizing that you made it out of Wal-Mart and your baby is miraculously still wearing both of those sparkly, pink Mary Janes.

I'm not even exaggerating, people. Each and every one of these things makes me joyful, happy, and jubilant, just as the definition states.

There are countless things that will bring you joy when you become a mother, but you need to remember that you're not JUST a mom. There are many other elements to who you are, so you really need to focus on finding joy in other non-mommy/baby related things.

This tasty little morsel of goodness is the joyous moment I'm choosing to share with you. I can make this sucker last through about 5 bites. I enjoy it wholeheartedly - every gooey, chocolately, sticky, delectable, sweet bite. I don't always have these in the house, so when they are on hand, I eat them sparingly, saving them for the most important times.



Today is definitely one of those "most important times."

After a morning of 2.5 hours of non-stop, I repeat - NON-STOP crying from Mini Me, 3 poopy diapers before noon (this has become a trend since the introduction of solid foods), a measly 25-minute morning nap, a non-existent afternoon nap, a can of formula exploding all over my hair and my shirt as I opened it for the first time (funny as heck now that I think about it - it was like a snowstorm of formula in my kitchen, but definitely NOT funny when it happened...), NO real lunch (aside from a couple handfuls of Chex Mix and a few stolen Blueberry Gerber Puffs from the baby's high chair tray), a kitchen that somehow managed to get messier instead of cleaner, 6 loads of laundry that never got done, and the shower that I never got to take...I need a little bit of caramel-filled chocolate joy comin' my way.

And if you so much as touch my little piece of joy in a golden wrapper, You. Will. Pay.

This post is a part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. This week's prompt: write about a joyous moment. Head on over to Mama's Losin' It to read more from other awesome bloggers. I'm jumping the gun a few hours early, so if the links to the other posts aren't up yet, go back later, okay? Okay.

9 hours and 45 minutes of bliss

No, I did not have an all-day all-you-can-eat chocolate fest lasting nearly 10 hours.


I didn't have a Brad Pitt movie marathon.


And I didn't enjoy a plane ride across the country.


My 9 hours and 45 minutes of bliss occurred between the hours of 8:30 p.m. and 6:15 a.m. It was during this time that a monumental miracle happened.

Kaylee slept.

Tooth #2 has been reeking havoc on our night life. For a couple weeks we felt as if we'd been transported back to Kaylee's newborn days, waking up every 2 hours, and at times, spending an hour trying to get her back to sleep. It was torture for us, and I imagine it wasn't exactly more fun than a Barrel of Monkeys for Kaylee, either, what with her little razor sharp tooth trying to make it's appearance.

I fed her at 6:15 and she slept again from 6:30 to 9.

PURE HEAVEN.

And if it happens again tonight, I'm sure it's a signal of Armageddon...