Screaming babies, crazy mamas, big butts, and my recent absence

By screaming babies, I mean Kaylee.

By crazy mamas, I mean me.

And, by big butts I mean "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mixalot.

I love that song. The words are crazy and ridiculous, but I know I can't be the only one who just belts it out loudly while driving. Come on, you know you've done it.

So, I'm sure you've noticed I've been a little absent from the blog lately. I mean, I know your day starts by hoping and praying that I've published a new blog post, and I'm sure some of you have landed in therapy because you are sad when you don't see something new each and every morning.

But, worry not. I'm not going anywhere.

Last week, Kaylee and I took a ride on the Crazy Train, but rest assured - we have returned safe and sound, with no battle scars to show. She was going through the worst episode of teething to date. And I was trying with all my might not to lose my mind completely. I'm pretty sure part of it is gone, but let's just say it was a miracle I didn't take up drinking.

And by the way, can I just say that I've never, ever considered taking up drinking more times in my life than I have since I became a mom? I just had to get that out there...

So, anyway, we had 3 days in a row of pretty much non-stop screaming, crying, and whining. From both of us. Except I didn't do screaming. Just crying and whining. So, thank God for my sister-in-law who spoiled Kaylee on the 4th day so I didn't lose my mind entirely.

I know my blog was neglected, but life just happens. Something's gotta give some days, and last week, it was my blog. I sure did miss it because it definitely has a way of helping me deal with the craziness of my life.

Thanks, my lovely readers, for sticking with me, even when I don't post regularly. You are the best.

And, now I'm going to bed, because who knows whether or not I'll be getting a middle of the night wake-up call from my almost one-year-old.

*This post is a part of Thursday Writer's Workshop at Mama Kat's Losin' It.

Just call me the stain vigilante

A few days ago I sat down at my little computer to share this very cute picture with you.


We had just introduced Kaylee to blueberries, and she was just the cutest little purple mess I'd ever seen in my life.

Then it occurred to me...her new found love of blueberries was going to mean many a ruined outfits unless I put a smock over her and covered every square inch of her hair/skin/face/appendages with plastic wrap or something. And I'm not really crazy about wrapping my kid in plastic wrap just for the sake of saving her clothes - it seems a wee bit risky, if you ask me.

So, in my blueberry post, I made a remark about how the Tide to Go pen was going to become a much bigger part of our lives now, and wouldn't ya know...someone who works with Tide doing PR work emails me. :)

Know what I got in the mail today? A box full of Tide to Go pens. Some are to keep on hand and some are to give away to my readers. (More details on how you can win one of these handy little doo dads as well as a mini motherhood survival kit tomorrow...)

But, before I just start handing these things out like hotcakes, I figured it would probably be a good idea to tell you a little bit about why I love them.

This is what happens to Kaylee's onesies when we let her delve into a full rack of ribs at Chili's. Since we were not at Chili's and since my child was busy crying about her vampire teeth poking her tender little gums, I decided to do a little test. I had to do something to distract myself and to avoid throwing a shoe through my living room window at record speed.

So, here you have it. A barbecue stain on one of Kaylee's perfectly white onesies.

Oh, dear me. What ever will I do? Hmmm, I don't know. Perhaps it's time to bust out a little piece of magic I like to call the Tide to Go Mini.

Yes, you heard me. Mini. Meaning it still packs the same mean punch as the regular Tide to Go pen, except that it's smaller, leaving more room in your purse/diaper bag for other important things, like pieces of chocolate, or a small bottle of vodka.

So, I bust out the pen, press it into the stain, and then basically just color the stain away with the pen. It's so awesome. See for yourself.


You'll notice a little of the bbq sauce color, but I didn't work it in for too long (screaming vampire baby, remember?) So, now we're good to go and I'll just add a little extra pre-treating to it before I wash it. It works great on things like juice, ketchup, bbq sauce, coffee - all the stuff that we usually spill on our clothes at the most inopportune of times.

Dennis is a teacher, and one of my lovely readers who also happens to be a teacher said these things work great for getting coffee stains off the front of shirts.

So, there you have it. My new best friend. The Tide to Go Mini.

Now, if I only I can resist the urge to go purposely stain things in my house, just for an excuse to use my little pen...it's that fun. You know you want one...

Aprons and Tide pens and screaming babies with vampire teeth, oh my!

Sure as shit, today is just going to be one of those days...

So, Kaylee has her bottom 2 teeth in, right? The two top teeth usually come next, right? Well, uh - not so much with my kid. She's got her two little vampire teeth poking through under the gums and they are SHARP. I wish they'd just come through already.

Anyway, I'm officially declaring today Screaming Vampire Baby Day at our house because that is all that's going on around here. Screaming. And screaming. And screaming. I'll be screaming next - anytime now. Poor kiddo is only happy if she's being held, and it's really hard to eat, take a shower and dry my hair while holding a child. Hence the screaming child who cannot be held every waking moment.

In an effort to maintain my sanity and happiness, I am going to tell you about a few happy things that you really need to be aware of.

Let's start off with some giveaway news. Who doesn't love a giveaway, right?

First giveaway: It's week three of Mama Kat's apron giveaway. This week she's featuring aprons from another great seller at etsy.com. This is my favorite apron in her etsy shop. Isn't it cute? I think it definitely has my name written all over it. So, click here to visit Mama Kat and to enter the giveaway for yo bad self.


Second giveaway: Summer at Le Musings of Moi is having one of the coolest giveaways I've ever heard of. It's a care package, carefully selected and prepared by Summer herself. It's got skin care, makeup, a headband, nail polish, and more! It sounds so girly and fun and fantastic. I'm hoping I win that one, too. So, click here to visit Summer and check out her giveaway.

Third giveaway: I'm jumping up and down for joy over this one! Do you remember me telling you about how I was about to embark on a beautiful relationship with a little something called the Tide to Go pen? Well, a certain someone who works with Tide is overnighting me some of these little beauties to give away to my fabulous readers! So, hang on to your hats because that will be happening soon and very soon.

In other news, you need to check out April over at April Showers by clicking here. She was the featured blogger over at SITS yesterday and she's working with me to redesign my blog. I know, I know - I just redid the layout not long ago, but it's just not what I'm looking for, and I'm Photo Shop challenged. She's got lots of orders, so a bit of time will need to pass before the changes are up, but I'm totally excited about it.

Well, please excuse me and my ringing ears as I attempt to pry my squealing child off of me so I can go finish getting ready for my day.

Where's my damn chocolate!?!?

The three and a half hour blog post and a week of blogging milestones

So, my post about trying to make my brother eat dog poop? Took me 3 and a half hours. Not because it took me that long to think of what to write. No - because a certain somebody...


...has been fighting a nap all morning long. She falls asleep, I put her down, she screams, and the cycle repeats repeatedly. Plus, we had breakfast, played, changed 3 poopy diapers (and it's only 10:35 a.m.) and I managed to get a shower - although I'm still in my fluffy pink robe.

So, if you've been wondering why I've been a little absent from my blog (and it's redesign), it's because I've been working a lot, and when I've been home I just haven't had much time to get on the computer. So that's that.

Anyway, this past week I hit some sweet blogging milestones! First, April over at The Life of Me Plus Three bestowed upon me my very first bloggy award. Woo hoo! Thanks April!



And! Hold on to your hats! I won my first blog giveaway! Sassy Stephanie over at Our Piece of Quiet had a giveaway for this book, and I won! Neener, neener. Thank you, Stephanie!

She didn't explain what it was about, but apparently she couldn't put it down, so I'm thrilled to read it for myself and discover what mystery awaits within its pages. I'll let you know what I think after I read it.

Anyway, I gotta go. My screaming child and her hidden tooth #3 are calling for me.

T minus 3 hours until my BFF gets here and we have an afternoon WITHOUT KIDS. And just 30 more minutes until the babe's next dose of Tylenol is due.

I.need.chocolate...

9 hours and 45 minutes of bliss

No, I did not have an all-day all-you-can-eat chocolate fest lasting nearly 10 hours.


I didn't have a Brad Pitt movie marathon.


And I didn't enjoy a plane ride across the country.


My 9 hours and 45 minutes of bliss occurred between the hours of 8:30 p.m. and 6:15 a.m. It was during this time that a monumental miracle happened.

Kaylee slept.

Tooth #2 has been reeking havoc on our night life. For a couple weeks we felt as if we'd been transported back to Kaylee's newborn days, waking up every 2 hours, and at times, spending an hour trying to get her back to sleep. It was torture for us, and I imagine it wasn't exactly more fun than a Barrel of Monkeys for Kaylee, either, what with her little razor sharp tooth trying to make it's appearance.

I fed her at 6:15 and she slept again from 6:30 to 9.

PURE HEAVEN.

And if it happens again tonight, I'm sure it's a signal of Armageddon...

A post-holiday update from my chaotic little corner of the world...

Hello bloggy friends!

You'll have to forgive me for being so absent during the past couple weeks. I've been enjoying time with family, way too many fattening goodies and trying not to use my brain as much as possible.

My hubby is a school teacher, so he's been on a 2-week break (that was much deserved). So, in turn, I've been limiting my time on the computer and spending as much time as possible with my little family.

So, here's an update on us...

Christmas was a success. We all survived just fine, and hubby and I realized we made the right choice by buying Kaylee one book for Christmas. I put it in her stocking, stuffed the rest full of toys she already had, and she promptly took the stuffed bear out of the top, dropped it on the floor and set off to play with a roll of wrapping paper.

Kaylee is crawling. She alternates between actual crawling and army crawling (army crawling is much faster), and is fascinated by all things non-toy. For example, she lives to crawl to the heater vent in her room and bang on it like a drum, she also likes to scrape the wall and she's enjoying a delectable new snack known as PIECES OF CARPET. She was chomping away on something a couple days ago, so I stuck my finger in her mouth and pulled out a piece of carpet. Lovely.

We're working on tooth #2, which resulted in Kaylee staying with her grandparents for 2 nights in row so as to prevent hubby and I from losing every single last marble we possess. It was fabulous.

We have implemented a strict budget that includes saving, trying to pay toward the principle on our car and house, and not overspending on such things as eating out or frivolous purchases. Such budget has made me realize that unless I want to stress out about money every waking moment of my life, I need to work 4 days a week instead of 3. More about that to come in future posts, I'm sure...

I am also trying a new concept related to housekeeping, which is a piece of advice a co-worker gave me. She said when she was raising her son, she had a rule that there was one room in her house that was her clean zone. It got picked up every day before bed, and no one was allowed to leave junk in that room.

I've chosen my clean room to be my kitchen, and so far, it's going well. No dirty dishes in the sink at night, no crap piling up on the counter, none of that. So, if the rest of my house is in shambles, at least my humble little kitchen looks decent. It really does make me feel better. And it's not hard to keep it up on a daily basis.

Oh, and my last update is that my hubby started his very own blog! It's called Destined for 1337ness, which in computer speak means "leetness" which in computer speak means "coolness" or something like that. I don't understand it completely, but it's something like that. Anyway, his blog is about computer stuff, gaming, things of that nature. Click here to check it out.

It's good to be back.