The impermeable wall has busted and crumbled.

By impermeable wall, I mean - my immune system. My rock solid, only-gets-a-cold-once-a-year immune system has somehow been compromised, and I'm rather irritated about the situation.

Dennis usually gets sick a few times a year. Especially right about now, being that he works in the germ infested land known as an elementary school. Shoot, I work in a hospital for crying outloud - you'd think I'd get sick, but I rarely ever do.

I was such a good little lady...getting in line for my seasonal flu and H1N1 vaccinations, yadda yadda yadda and then KABAM.

Frickin' fever of 102 hits me like a Mack truck Wednesday. Then the body aches and sore throat.

Fever's been gone since Wednesday afternoon, but the sore throat persists. Dang swab for strep throat came back negative, so it looks like I'm just gonna have to wait this one out, just like all the other people who get sick every year.

Along with my fabulous sore throat, I've had killer headaches on and off, which makes the whole concept of writing coherent blog posts a rather undesirable activity.

So, whatever. Hopefully it will go away soon. Pshhhhh - stupid frickin' sickness.

And is it just me, or does anyone else think of that hilarious SNL skit with Will Ferrell and Christopher Walkin whenever you hear the word "fever"? You know...Christopher Walkin... "I've got a feva, and the only prescription...is more cowbell!"

Wordful Wednesday - Dragon Smiles

Even though you can't see her whole dragon ensemble in this picture, it's hands-down my favorite picture from Halloween. You don't see the floppy hands and feet or the shiny iridescent wings or - my favorite - the way the tail wiggled back and forth when she walked.

But this is the smile.

The smile that makes my bad days seem not so bad. The smile she busts out right after doing something bad. The smile that makes me less mad when she does something she knows she shouldn't. The smile that precedes belly laughs (from her and us).

The smile that says, "This is me. This is who I am. I'm a kid filled with joy and spunk and utter delight."

I love you, my little Kaylee Bug.

Ugly Mommy Moments

We all have them, don't we?

Today I let myself stay in a funk. I shouldn't have. But, I did.

I was halfway to work and I got a call from my boss stating there were hardly any patients at the hospital, so I didn't need to come in. Second time this pay period. OUCH.

I came home. I cleaned for an hour and a half straight. Hey, being mad has it's advantages, and for me - it often means something gets cleaned.

We'd already paid the babysitter for the 2 days she is scheduled to have Kaylee this week, so I figured I'd just get some stuff done. I spent the day cleaning, working on bills, working and re-working the budget, trying to make the numbers look prettier than they are, and found some stuff to sell and put it on Craigslist.

I packed up some clothes Kaylee's outgrown, as well as some other baby paraphernalia, and I had grand plans to haul it off to the resale store and take what they didn't want to Goodwill. Then...I was going to go to the library (because I cruised through A Girl Named Zippy in less than a week and read The Time Traveler's Wife in 2 days) and get some new books.

But...I realized I left my wallet in the diaper bag. The diaper bag that was with Kaylee. At the babysitter's. And I decided it would be best if I didn't drive without my license.

And I let the funk creep into my day. I hate it when I do that, but by the time Dennis got home, I was on the verge of tears, until I finally let some fall and I just told Dennis how stressed I was.

I feel crappy that I keep getting called off work. I hate that money is so tight. I hate having to worry.

So, I cried and vented for a short while, and then I went to the library, where I picked out 4 new books.

I hurried back home so Dennis could leave in time for karate, and then I listened to Kaylee have a toddler breakdown when he left. Which she tends to do. Pretty much every time he leaves.

Really - I swear I'm fun to be around, but she's such a Daddy's girl, and I've come to accept that. Sometimes she'd rather cry that he's gone than just calm down and have fun with me.

So, I'm still feeling a bit funky and between her screams, tears, and pleas for Dada and EWMO- PEAAAAS?!?! I had zero patience.

I was so frustrated with her. I was upset that she couldn't just get over the fact that Dennis was gone. He would be back, but I hadn't seen her all day. Come on, child! Have some fun with your mother already, would you?!

She wouldn't eat her dinner. She was mad when Elmo (yes, I finally caved and put on Elmo) wasn't on the screen. She was all done, all done, all done, all done with her dinner, but she'd hardly touched it.

So, I let her be. I let her sit in her chair, and I didn't watch her. She ate a few bites. I layed down on the couch and I said a quick prayer. Just asking for a little help. Apologizing for being such a cranky, whiny mommy to my adorable little girl who still can't quite communicate so I understand what she wants and needs all the time. For taking out my frustrations on her by not being patient.

And I asked for help tomorrow. Because tomorrow is fresh and new, and it's a clean slate. Ugly Mommy may have reared her head today, but it doesn't mean she has to tomorrow.

Let's just go ahead and start things off with some cake down the dress.

Hands down, the funniest thing that happened at our wedding was during the cake cutting at the reception. Dennis and I talked beforehand about how it would go, and we didn't have plans for anything to get too crazy. Maybe a little bit of smeared frosting, but nothing crazy. Nothing crazy was the plan.

And then, the cake Dennis was about to give me took a nosedive straight down the front of my dress. We won't share the comment my dad made. You can just use your imagination. :)

*This post is a part of Writer's Workshop at Mama's Losin' It.

Wordful Wednesday - Gettin' crazy with menu plans - yeah, baby!

I already told you about how we're having to pinch our pennies like crazy this month, and that our grocery budget is a measly $150.

How can a family of three possibly manage on that?

Well, it helps that our child refuses to eat pretty much anything besides goldfish crackers, graham crackers, yogurt, eggs and milk, but that's beside the point. And, eliminating non-essentials like sodas, cookies, etc., helps as well (but, since we stopped buying soda can I just tell you how bad I want a Diet Coke???)

Over a year ago, I started getting into coupons. Yes, I became *that* crazy coupon lady.

I joined a website called Coupon Sense that helps you organize coupons and matches up grocery store sales with coupons to maximize your savings, often resulting in free groceries.

They also teach you the strategy of stocking up on certain items when they're on sale, such as canned goods and anything that can be frozen.

So, I try to keep stockpiles of things like boneless, skinless chicken breast and 93% lean hamburger in my freezer. I also stock up on cereal when it's on sale (like the time I got 15 boxes of name brand cereal for $13.84), as well as things like diapers, baby wipes and personal care items. CVS is one of my favorite places to get those types of things for free.

Anyway, at the end of October when I tirelessly crunched the numbers to attempt to get our budget balanced, I realized our grocery budget needed to be cut - waaaay down. I hadn't been too gung ho with the coupon usage (I tend to go in spurts with it), and I realized I needed to hunker down and get back on the bandwagon.

I started with a menu plan, and I was able to come up with an entire month's worth of meals based on just the ingredients we had in our house (of course, things requiring dairy and other perishables would need the occasional ingredient here or there).

Sure, we don't have much of anything extravagant - you'll see things like bean and cheese burritos, blueberry pancakes, sloppy joes, Hamburger Helper, and spaghetti, but really - those are the kinds of things we like.

When it comes to side dishes, I've got things like Betty Crocker boxed potatoes and frozen veggies that I got for free or nearly free with coupons.

So, looking at that calendar and seeing what I was able to do for our family as a result of using coupons, stockpiling, and planning ahead made me feel really good.

We've got roughly $37.50/week to spend on groceries, and for the rest of this month, I'll be telling you how that goes. So far this week, I've gotten 3 gallons of milk, a carton of eggs and some Egg Beaters.

I love a good challenge, and I'm confident we can do this. When times get tough, we just need to get creative.

Your turn: What are your favorite meals that are cheap to make? Do you do menu plans? How do you save money on food?

*This post is a part of Wordful Wednesday, hosted each week by Angie at 7 Clown Circus.

Because it's a curl up with good book and a hot cup of chai kind of day...

The only thing that could make this day more cozy would be huge snowflakes outside my window and some fuzzy slippers.

But, for some odd reason, our weather has decided to take a break from the frigid temperatures and grace us with some warm sunshine.

So, no fuzzy slippers for me, but I do plan on a cup of chai (along with a good book) as soon as I'm done writing.

I am just about finished reading Your Oasis on Flame Lake, by Lorna Landvick, and I have loved it from the very beginning. The first book I read of hers was Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons, and from then on, she's been a favorite author of mine.

I hate to be without a book to read, so I figured we better high tail it to the library so I'd have a book waiting for me when I finish this one.

Kaylee and I made a trip to the library this morning and picked out some new books, but as soon as she started going ballistic, we bee lined it to the car and came back home.

I really, really wanted to read Hunger Games because Tiffany has put it right up there next to the Twilight series classifying it as official "crackliture." I've heard raving reviews about here and there on different blogs, and so I'm dying to get my hands on it. But, the library didn't have a copy available, and I'm an instant gratification kind of girl, so I moved on to my second choice.

I chose this little gem - A Girl Named Zippy - which I am fulling expecting to be fabulous because Jenners, author of the blog Life With a Little One and More (one of my very first blogging buddies) recommended it on her book blog, Find Your Next Book Here. The book is a memoir of a girl who grew up in a small town (I, too, happen to be a small town girl), and it's supposed to be just delightful.

Which is something I need more of in my life - delightfulness.

Kaylee and I got home, and I proceeded to put in her newest video - some variation of Play With Me Sesame that she picked out at the library. I did my best to provide her with cheese, milk, crayons, and lovable, furry old Grover while I sat there on the couch and read more of my book.

Eventually, the movie ended, so we moved into her room for a change of scenery. The sun hits her room about midday, so I opened the blinds and curled up there on the floor in a patch of sunlight just like my old cat, Molly, would have done.

Kaylee played and I read, basked in the sunlight and relaxed. And of course, we played here and there.

Sure, there were other ways we could have spent the time. We could have gone to the store, done the laundry, or cleaned the house.

But, we didn't.

Because it's a curl up with a good book and a hot cup of chai kind of day.

Learning to get by with less

With the crazy influx of medical bills that are steadily streaming in, it was high time to sit down and come up with a rather strict budget for November.

I sat down, listed all our expenses, figured out our estimated income and came close to a few tears when I saw that we weren't going to break even, and that was before we paid anyone for all of Kaylee's medical expenses.

I'm a firm believer that if you're smart with your money, you can make things work, and no matter how life gets, it seems like we'll never go without the essentials.

Right now, things are about as tight as they've ever been, and figuring out how to make things balance was nothing short of a monumental task, but I think we've managed to do it.

It started with a few cuts.

The home phone had to go.

Our monthly pest control had to go (and I'm just crossing my fingers that the cold weather keeps the nasty bugs out in the meantime!).

We downgraded to the lowest DirecTV package. And with it went CMT, GAC, TLC and Discovery Health...waaahhh!

The membership to the gym had to go.

The grocery budget is also a slim $150, but we already have enough food for dinner for the entire month (more on that Wednesday).

The allowance for eating out and "fun" stuff is at a big fat zero.

And, we're in the process of working with www.naca.com to try and negotiate a lower monthly rate on our mortgage.

We're down to just the essentials, folks, but we're going to break even, and if Craigslist is good to us and the lovely locals want to buy some of our unused crap, we might even be able to put some money in savings or pay extra toward the medical bills.

Times are tough for ALL of us. What have you had to cut back on, and what are you doing to save money?