Friday, May 22, 2009

Because I'll need this reminder on the bad days.

Sometimes I feel like I'm such a sucky mom.

The baby just cries and cries some days. She could be teething, needy, tired, hungry, who knows - but on those days when there's a whole lot of crying I just get so frustrated, and I hate what I become.

I ever-so-quickly lose my patience, my negativity takes the wheel, and I basically decide right then and there that it's going to be a bad day. The thing is - it's a choice, and all to often, I intentionally make that choice.

The end of the day comes around, and I realize that an entire day has gone by that I will never get back. I know we all have bad days, I have no desire to be Supermom, and I know I can't possibly have a positive attitude 100% of the time, but when I look back on days like that, it really bums me out that I chose to be so ridiculous.

Something I struggle with all too often is spending time with my baby vs. taking care of household tasks during the day when I'm not working outside the home. I just have a hard time finding a good balance.

So, it's days like today when I'm reminded that everything else in my day may be out of my control, but my attitude is the one thing I can choose to be in control of.

At the moment, my little one is working on her first one year molar - not a fun time. She was pretty fussy this morning, but I decided it was going to be a good day. I also sent up a lot more prayers than I typically have been, so I'm sure that contributed to the better day as well.

Sometimes, I think it's really important to just step back and really take a look at my attitude, my priorities, and my current perspective on things. Because, most of the time, I need to readjust all of the above...

So, today, this is what I've learned:

Being home with my baby part-time is a privilege. Many women out there wish they could be home with their babies and their circumstances do not permit it, so I really need to appreciate each day I'm home with my baby.

She'll have some particularly clingy days, and it may get on my nerves when all she wants to do is to be held, but it means that she's coming to me for comfort and attention because she feels safe with me, she trusts me, and she loves me.

Building towers out of blocks only to have them knocked over 86 times, tickling for belly laughs, listening to the talking tea pot, the singing Leapfrog fridge DJ and the Silly Songs Countdown, along with pushing my kid around in a toy car, reading stories and dancing around the house like a fool are some of my new favorite hobbies.

I may have never-ending laundry, a checkbook that needs to be balanced, emails to answer, hair that hasn't been washed in 2 days, yogurt, bananas, spaghetti and other unidentifiable food smeared on my clothing, but my baby won't be a baby for long. When she's in school, all grown up, and eventually out of my house, I will still have laundry to do, a checkbook to balance, emails to answer, hair to wash, and the occasional food item on my clothing, but my baby won't be readily available to play with and cuddle. She'll be learning about square roots, going to dances, driving a car, and growing up. I need to enjoy her every minute that I can. Right now.


Thanks to Sassy Stephanie over at Our Piece of Quiet for regularly reminding me to really enjoy every minute with my baby while I can, even when it's a particularly rough day. :)


Kelly said...

You hit the nail on the head with this one!! There are so many of us out there who feel the same way and need to be reminded on an hourly basis how truly lucky we are. THANK YOU!

Deb said...

oh girl, i just adore you. i think we all struggle with this, but we need to give ourselves a little slack. BUT, you are SO right that it is a choice. and we can choose to have a better day, when hell is breaking loose, instead of just letting it consume us.

you are such a great mommy... you really are. even when you don't feel like you are.

Elizabeth said...

Hi Sera! I just started reading your blog:) Thanks for the great reminder! We all need it every now and then...

thoughts and ramblings said...

Beautiful reminder, Sera.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Summer said...

I struggle with this too, but I have been really trying to CHOOSE my attitude. It's not easy but it makes a huge difference!

Al and Ruth and Noelle said...

What a fantastic perspective!!! I really needed to read this today. Thank you.

Fauset Photography said...

lOve it! And I love the new look of your blog!! I see I was nixed from your sidebar. :)
Love ya!

Elizabeth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Golden Girl, a.k.a. Kiki said...

Thank you for your post. I feel the exact same way. I have been dealing with this struggle for four years now, but I wake up each day hopeful that I will be a good mother and wife, and I remind myself to have a positive attitude. I do the very best that I can, and no one is perfect. We place such high expectations on ourselves to the best wives and mothers, and it's unrealistic. I hope you find your balance. You are a wonderful wife and mother. Take care.

Wendy said...

Very well said Sera. We all need that reminder now and again, no question.