The baby just cries and cries some days. She could be teething, needy, tired, hungry, who knows - but on those days when there's a whole lot of crying I just get so frustrated, and I hate what I become.
I ever-so-quickly lose my patience, my negativity takes the wheel, and I basically decide right then and there that it's going to be a bad day. The thing is - it's a choice, and all to often, I intentionally make that choice.
The end of the day comes around, and I realize that an entire day has gone by that I will never get back. I know we all have bad days, I have no desire to be Supermom, and I know I can't possibly have a positive attitude 100% of the time, but when I look back on days like that, it really bums me out that I chose to be so ridiculous.
Something I struggle with all too often is spending time with my baby vs. taking care of household tasks during the day when I'm not working outside the home. I just have a hard time finding a good balance.
So, it's days like today when I'm reminded that everything else in my day may be out of my control, but my attitude is the one thing I can choose to be in control of.
At the moment, my little one is working on her first one year molar - not a fun time. She was pretty fussy this morning, but I decided it was going to be a good day. I also sent up a lot more prayers than I typically have been, so I'm sure that contributed to the better day as well.
Sometimes, I think it's really important to just step back and really take a look at my attitude, my priorities, and my current perspective on things. Because, most of the time, I need to readjust all of the above...
So, today, this is what I've learned:
Being home with my baby part-time is a privilege. Many women out there wish they could be home with their babies and their circumstances do not permit it, so I really need to appreciate each day I'm home with my baby.
She'll have some particularly clingy days, and it may get on my nerves when all she wants to do is to be held, but it means that she's coming to me for comfort and attention because she feels safe with me, she trusts me, and she loves me.
Building towers out of blocks only to have them knocked over 86 times, tickling for belly laughs, listening to the talking tea pot, the singing Leapfrog fridge DJ and the Silly Songs Countdown, along with pushing my kid around in a toy car, reading stories and dancing around the house like a fool are some of my new favorite hobbies.
I may have never-ending laundry, a checkbook that needs to be balanced, emails to answer, hair that hasn't been washed in 2 days, yogurt, bananas, spaghetti and other unidentifiable food smeared on my clothing, but my baby won't be a baby for long. When she's in school, all grown up, and eventually out of my house, I will still have laundry to do, a checkbook to balance, emails to answer, hair to wash, and the occasional food item on my clothing, but my baby won't be readily available to play with and cuddle. She'll be learning about square roots, going to dances, driving a car, and growing up. I need to enjoy her every minute that I can. Right now.
Thanks to Sassy Stephanie over at Our Piece of Quiet for regularly reminding me to really enjoy every minute with my baby while I can, even when it's a particularly rough day. :)