Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Improving myself, one fudge covered Ritz cracker at a time...

So, I'm on Day 2 of this new concept of lowering my expectations of myself and making realistic, achievable, non-crazy-lady goals for each day. Yesterday I planned out my whole week, and all the tasks that need to be done have their designated day.

I've gotta say that I'm likin' what's going on.

For the past two days, everything on my list has been done before lunch. And, even though Kaylee doesn't always nap, I still put her in her crib for 2 hours to rest - and to give myself a break. And I no longer feel bad about that.

So, I find myself scratching my head wondering what to do. Today I watched some TV, and I did a little extra picking up around the house.

Part of my mind instantly goes to the place where I feel that - hmmm...since I can accomplish these small tasks, I better add more to the list. I can do more. I can get more done. I can be more productive.

But the key is learning to be content with doing what's on my list, and to avoid putting further pressure on myself to go over and above that. Everything that needs to be done will get done at some point this week because every menial little thing has an assigned day. But it's so hard to get it through my head that I don't have to be constantly plowing through the to-do list all the live long day. It's such a weird concept.

To not be constantly busy and doing something is really, ridiculously difficult for me.

But, I'm enjoying the quiet and the stillness.

I'm enjoying the fact that I no longer feel like my anxiety-ridden heart is going to pound right out of my chest due to feeling utterly overwhelmed.

I'm enjoying the fact that I can count things like watching my favorite shows as a way of taking care of myself.

And, to change the subject, I would also like to share with you that I ate nearly an entire box of fudge covered Ritz crackers - today. Just today. They were that good.

And that's all for tonight.


Molly said...

I just ate the majority of a box, too! I am such a sucker for clever marketing. All they had to do it put "limited edition" on the box and I buy the entire display! :)

Deb said...

i'm so proud of you, little mama! if you can get through this month without going insane, i think you will have officially become my hero!

i am with you all the way. one day at a time. one fudge covered cracker at a time (or however many i can shove in my mouth at once!).

Rachel McPhillips said...

Good for you! I think ALL mothers could take this advice you are dishing out. We never think enough for ourselves, just the others around us. I tend to get so frustrated with my husband b/c he always takes care of himself first, but I am starting to think he has the right idea... some of the time!

hotpants™ said...

I think all moms forget to take time for themselves. I'm definitely guilty of it. For weeks I hadn't been making time to read. I've read a little bit the last 2 nights before bed. I already feel a little less crazy. I hope you're enjoying your time. Don't drive yourself crazy with stuff that can always wait one more day.

Laura said...

Hi sweetie and I'm so happy for you. My favorite line from your post was "But, I'm enjoying the quiet and the stillness." Not easy to always to do but a joy when you find the quiet. Hang in there! Oh and wish me luck I'm a featured blogger on SITS tomorrow.

Jenni said...

Hey girlie -- glad you liked the Crackers/cookies!!
I'm just sitting down and read your post after I multi-tasked my way from 530p until 8p. You know how it goes, take out the garbage, but while I"m in the garage start a load of laundry. If I'm going to do laundry, might as well get all the dirty clothes, while I'm in the bathroom emptying the hamper, I'll clean the toilet. You know, if I'm going to clean this toilet, I better clean the other toilet. Oh, look - there's a cup on the sink, I better put that in the sink, while I'm at the sink I should probably start the dishwasher, oh, it needs to be unloaded first.... All the way through 2 episodes of Sesame Street and NO quality time with the kiddos.
Thank you for being honest. I'm going to just sit and watch Gilmore Girls now.
Love you - J

Ashley said...

Mmmm...those sound really good! :)

Jenners said...

Ummmm what ... fudge-covered Ritz crackers? Are you serious???? Me want.

And I think your new system is EXACTLY what every woman needs. Resist the need to fill every waking moment and take time for you.

Summer said...

I am so proud of you girl.

And I'm inspired to start a list per day, instead of one big long one that is so overwhelming I never even begin.

And whats this Ritz Fudge thing??? I need.

Loukia said...

Good for you! And yes, it is one day at a time.

Kristin said...

I'd be content with just getting one thing on my list done. Ah ha. This toddler business is kicking my butt!