So, I'm on Day 2 of this new concept of lowering my expectations of myself and making realistic, achievable, non-crazy-lady goals for each day. Yesterday I planned out my whole week, and all the tasks that need to be done have their designated day.
I've gotta say that I'm likin' what's going on.
For the past two days, everything on my list has been done before lunch. And, even though Kaylee doesn't always nap, I still put her in her crib for 2 hours to rest - and to give myself a break. And I no longer feel bad about that.
So, I find myself scratching my head wondering what to do. Today I watched some TV, and I did a little extra picking up around the house.
Part of my mind instantly goes to the place where I feel that - hmmm...since I can accomplish these small tasks, I better add more to the list. I can do more. I can get more done. I can be more productive.
But the key is learning to be content with doing what's on my list, and to avoid putting further pressure on myself to go over and above that. Everything that needs to be done will get done at some point this week because every menial little thing has an assigned day. But it's so hard to get it through my head that I don't have to be constantly plowing through the to-do list all the live long day. It's such a weird concept.
To not be constantly busy and doing something is really, ridiculously difficult for me.
But, I'm enjoying the quiet and the stillness.
I'm enjoying the fact that I no longer feel like my anxiety-ridden heart is going to pound right out of my chest due to feeling utterly overwhelmed.
I'm enjoying the fact that I can count things like watching my favorite shows as a way of taking care of myself.
And, to change the subject, I would also like to share with you that I ate nearly an entire box of fudge covered Ritz crackers - today. Just today. They were that good.
And that's all for tonight.