Thursday, April 23, 2009

Tell me I'm normal. Please.

Ok, it's been creeping up on me. And it's finally just around the corner. And I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it.

My baby's turning 1 next week, and I'm having some mixed feelings about it.

Of course I'm excited to celebrate and party and watch her open presents and dive into her cake.

But, I'm also a bit sad.

My baby is growing up. So fast. I just can't believe it was almost a year ago that she was born.

I keep recalling memories of the day she was born. So, next week on her birthday, I'm loading her up in the car, all dressed up in her birthday dress, and we're taking cookies to the nurses at the OB department at the hospital, and to my OB doctor's office.

I'm not quite sure if I'm going to have a miniature breakdown on that day or not. I'm definitely expecting a few tears, but hopefully they'll fall when I'm home with her by myself.

In the grand scheme of things, I realize it's all about my attitude. Sure, it's fine to get sentimental and a little teary that she's growing up and changing so much. I'm her mom. It's my job to feel that way.

But, I don't want to focus on that. I want to celebrate that she is a healthy, vibrant, spunky little girl, and I want to celebrate the fact that Dennis and I survived our first year as parents. We survived works of art created by poop and baby toes, sleepless nights, teething, postpartum depression, 18 days of mysterious hives, a nasty flu bug, and all the other stuff first-time parents struggle with in that first year.

We've done good.

So, mamas, what about you? How did you feel on your baby's first birthday?


Jenners said...

You are totally normal. : )
I think every mom feels this way ... it is amazing how fast they grow up. But I have good news for you ... it gets better and better and more and more fun as they get older. : )

Happy 1st Birthday Kaylee!

Deb said...

oh girlie, you are so normal... and you are actually lucky to recognize how fast they grow up so early. i remember being a little relieved to hit one, and then two... and now my oldest is looking at colleges and i think i should have just slowed down and enjoyed it more.

you are an awesome mom. kaylee is one lucky almost one year old!

EdenSky said...

Yep, it's one of those bittersweet things. You look at them and you're totally shocked by what awesome little people they've become, but at the same time you're sad that they're not what they were before and they never will be again. sigh, my baby will be 2 in the summer.

Summer said...

With Taylor, everything was so hard that I looked forward to the next stage. With Chloe, every new stage makes me sad. We fed her cereal today for the first time and I was fighting tears.

Wendy said...

I just love your idea of going to your OB and to the hospital! I wish I could rewind a few days and do that too...hmmm...I suppose I still could. You're the smartest mama ever! Congratulations for making it through this entire year, it's been amazing and crazy, hasn't it?

Yer Mom said...

Yes, you are totally normal! You summed everything up in your last paragraph about what you should be celebrating.

On your first birthday, I remember thinking, 'Wow, I remember when Sera was as long as I am wide.' You were so little!

Enjoy each birthday -- that's what I did with you. Be amazed at all the new things Kaylee is doing and saying. I'm proud of you for all the things you've gone through the past year. You really are amazing, Sera.

John, Jessica and Emma said...

I know exactly how you are feeling... Emma's b-day is one week from today :( I LOVE the idea of taking cookies!! I may have to steal it!!! :)

You are either totally normal or we are both crazy!! :) Either way we have company!!

Molly said...

Mine will be 1 Monday and just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I can't believe it!

Angie said...

I'm not a mother, so I can't really comment on the sadness part.

But I did used to work as a nanny and I've always found the time period from age 1 to 2 so fun (not that there aren't challenges too), but you have a lot of great times ahead of you as well.