The Mama Bear in me

I used to be pretty timid and I was petrified to stand up for myself.

As I've grown older, more independent, and more sure of myself, I am not afraid to say what I need to say. I don't let people walk all over me, and I will speak my mind.

Then, Kaylee was born. I had this tiny, helpless little human to protect and nurture and raise, and God help me if anyone ever even THOUGHT of hurting her. Out comes the first sighting of Mama Bear.

Then, Kaylee got sick.

And out comes the ferocious Mama Bear. Claws, fangs, growls and all.

Out came the part of my personality that, until then, still hid from time to time. The part that has strong instincts and doesn't question them. The one that will stand up for my daughter come hell or high water, and the one who gets infuriated when those who should know more than me only prove their ignorance.

I know it's okay to question doctors. I also know that there's a reason they went to medical school and I didn't. I've always been of the mindset that you ask questions and keep asking questions. You advocate for yourself. You have to. And, then there comes a point where you need to trust that the doctors know better than you do.

THEN. Oh, then there comes a day.

We shall call this day Sunday. Sunday the 27th of September, 2009. Let's call it Kaylee's 3rd Trip to the ER This Friggin' Month.

Dennis and I called it the last chance. They'd screwed up twice before. First, by misdiagnosing Kaylee with pneumonia and never calling us to say we could take her off the heavy duty antibiotics because the x-ray was clear. And second, we find out that last time we went to the ER to rule out a bone infection in Kaylee's ear, the doctor told our pediatrician said she "didn't look too bad" and was just going to send her home on oral antibiotics. Thankfully, our pediatrican said ooooh, no you don't, and that's when we eventually had to transfer Kaylee to a children's hospital for inpatient IV antibiotics.

Yesterday was their last chance. Maybe the first two times were a fluke. But this was it. They screw up again, and we're done. The bad part of that? The next closest ER is 2 hours away. Do you chance it and make the trip, or leave your child's health and wellness in the hands of a bunch of incompetent morons? What do you DO?

So, yesterday - when Kaylee began to get redness behind her ear and her ear started sticking out like a little Hobbit ear again - JUST as it had done when it was bad enough to transfer her to another hospital, we took her straight to the ER. This is what we got from the doctor:

"It really doesn't concern me." Told me the plan was home with oral antibiotics and he told me how to recognize symptoms of meningitis in case the infection turns into that. Gee, thanks - DOC. We brought her in so it wouldn't progress to THAT.

NO! No, no, no, no, NO! You did NOT!

This, after I told him her detailed history of not responding to several oral antibiotics and how our pediatrician and all the doctors at the children's hospital were alarmed by the way her ear looked, when it looked just like this last time.

It was like pulling teeth getting him to agree to do anything besides the oral meds. I asked for IV meds since I knew that treated it well last time, but he agreed to do a shot in the leg of antibiotics instead. And I think he probably just did it to get me to shut up.

At this point, I don't even know what to think. Today, her doctor said both ears are now full of this yellow gunky stuff, and the infection is back with a vengeance.

I don't know what's going on, but I do know this...NO ONE is going to feed me another line of bull crap. We are getting this fixed - one way or another, and this Mama Bear's got her claws out, ready for a fight.