Oh, that? It's nothing. It's just my front yard. Floating down the street.

They say there's a first time for everything, and I say - yeah, there's a first time for everything, and all those first things can be boiled down into two very simple categories: first times that rock your face off, and first times that scare the living daylights out of you.

Let's talk specifics.

So...first times that rock your face off...

First car. First time on the Gravitron at the fair. First plane ride. First job out of college. First baby. First time your baby laughs. First time you do a Total Body Sculpt workout with Gilad. First time you simultaneously hold a small child while peeing and talking on your cell phone. Are we getting the picture yet?

Now, first times that scare the tar out of you...

First time you lacerate your middle finger on a broken olive oil jar. First time you bare hand a turd out of the tub (your child's, not your own - let's just be clear now as I can't having you all thinking I poop in the bathtub - I assure you I do not). First time you lose someone you love. First time your front yard decides enough is enough and it packs up, along with a mighty rushing river and decides to bid you farewell without so much as even a goodbye wave as it goes floating down the street in front of your house.

We got some freak of nature rainstorm in our neighborhood this week (in an area notorious for droughts, I'll have you know) and it ransacked our front yard. Hmmm. I think ransacked might be a more appropriate word to use when describing what burglars do to a house, but I'm using it here anyway. It sounds good.

Anyway, this God-forsaken storm took out part of our cement step, all of our landscaping, and the fabric that was underneath the landscaping. The water (and clay-like dirt from our property) also decided to take a fun trip through our air conditioner and our vents, and flooded the crawl space under our house, where our electric water heater is housed.

And, insurance isn't covering a thing because - oh, I don't know why...BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE FLOOD INSURANCE because no one in this town has flood insurance because we are in a frigging DROUGHT area.

But! The claims specialist assured me that, in the future, they WILL cover landscaping if someone, other than myself, is driving a motor vehicle and runs into either my trees or my shrubs, uprooting or damaging them. Gee, thanks, lady. I don't have any trees or shrubs - it's a drought area and I don't want to pay a gajillion dollars a month to water them so we have landscape rocks, which happen to not be covered even though they cost more than your precious trees and shrubs...

So, getting back on point. Yes, there's a first time for everything. I never thought I'd experience the first time I watched my front yard float down the road, but now I can say that I have, and that I hope to high heaven and all the way back that it never happens again.

Here's our mighty raging river...

This post is a part of one of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, taking place every Thursday over at Mama Kat's Losin' It. If you're not playing along, you totally should be.