Saturday, November 15, 2008

Fishin' for Turds - My Maiden Voyage

Well, I did it. I fished a turd out of the bath tub. Bare handed.

I was wishing I had one of these:









After Kaylee nearly flooded our kitchen floor with her fanatical splashing in the kitchen sink during bath time, we decided it was time for her to move on up to the actual bath tub. We took her diaper off before plopping her in the water, and we were very careful to make sure the tiny poop that was inside of it didn't drop out, but apparently there was more where that came from. We put her in the tub and suddenly I notice what appears to have been a cling on. Just the tiniest little turd - we're talking the size of a pencil eraser, people.

But, she still grabs for anything and everything in the tub and it goes straight for her mouth. As my child plays gleefully in the once-clean bath water, I start to panic. Again, my fear of my child eating her own poop kicks in, and I have no choice but to attempt to capture the little floater.

My husband just looks at me and says, "You gonna bare hand it?" I had no other option. So, for the first time in my life I intentionally picked up a piece of poop with my bare hands (I don't think I've ever accidentally picked up a piece of poop with my bare hands, but I digress...). Have you ever tried to fish a teensy turd out of bath water? It's no simple task!

So, I think I'm asking for one of the above fish nets for a stocking stuffer this Christmas. Just $1.19 at www.cheappetstore.com. Affordable, practical, protects me from poop germs - what more could a girl ask for? Plus, apparently it flows through the water quite nicely. Check out the product description: "A loose weave net for easy movement in water. These loose weave nets allow unhindered movement through the water. Available in 3", 5", 8", and 10" size nets and varied handle lengths."

God forbid that anything should hinder the movement of my baby turd net in the water! We just can't have that! I'm thinking I can start with a 3" net since she's still pretty small, and as the turds increase in girth, we'll just up the net size.

That's all. It was just a monumental achievement and I felt compelled to share it with you.

18 comments:

April said...

My Hubby rarely wants to know what I am reading but after all the laughing (from your post) he had to ask what was so funny. I read it to him and he chuckled (he doesn't do poop) and walked away. I bet he doesn't ask again.

Sera said...

That is so funny!

BPOTW said...

Oh yes, I love this. Well, not the floating poop. You didn't mention how quickly you ran to wash your hands and how long and hard you scrubbed. You didn't mention how your husband retched while watching you while he was just sitting back letting you take care of everything. Ahem... :)

I'm so glad you submitted this! Thanks!

Sera said...

Thanks for linking it up!

Jennifer said...

Oh geez!! The things we moms must do! You definitely have to get that little net to hang by the tub!

~Jenn Danza~ said...

Been there, done that...the turds DO get bigger so go for the large net.
;) Great post! Brought back memories. hehe

Sera said...

Ha ha ha - ok, bigger net it is.

Mandy said...

Now that you mention it, every parent should have the fish net! LOL!!

AndreaLeigh said...

Just stopping by from SITS to say hello. Wow... I just have no words. No kids yet, so I haven't experienced this quite yet. I do have experience with dog poop though, and that is NO fun.

Sera said...

Thanks for stopping AndreaLeigh, and Mandy, wouldn't that just be a great baby shower gift?!?

justjuli said...

The things that only a mother could do!
I was both laughing and cringing at this. I especially love the term "cling on" - that just made my day!
TeeHee.

Momma Drama said...

My baby poops in the tub almost every day now. Just wait until they aren't those tiny little floaties, but the big ones. I think I need a 5" or 8" net.
I'm trying to catch her before she goes and get her to poop in the potty instead. Usually I'm just not fast enough though.
Oh, the joys of Motherhood.

Sera said...

JustJuli - glad it made you laugh!

Momma Drama - don't tell me that! No, no, no! At least tell me the big turds are easy to fish for! Funny that even though you try to catch the poop ahead of time she does it in the tub anyway. We can try all we want to, but a lot of the time it makes no difference. All you can do is laugh. Oh, to be able to crap in your own bath water and not care at all, huh? :)

Jenners said...

Just the phrase "baby turd net" gave me the giggles! Are you getting sick of my comments yet? I'm almost through!

Oh2122 said...

Oh, man. We've done this at least 3 times since the summer! I did have a net the first time, but Hubby has bare handed it since. The last two times we just pulled the Monkey out of the tub and showered him off.

I think you could make millions if you repackaged a fish net in blue and pink, slap a duckie on it, and sell it at Babies R Us!

Kristen said...

Sadly this will not be the first time you bare-hand poop. And it won't only be out of the bathtub.

Tranquility said...

Hahahaha... been there, done that. I like the fish net idea though - never thought of that one. I agree with Oh2122... you could totally market that in the baby isle!

TuTu's Bliss said...

hysterical!

 
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