Monday, November 10, 2008

Well, that's just crap-tastic

This was originally posted on our family blog, but I figured it's quite appropriate to be placed here as well. I'd love to hear your own funny kid poop stories!


Allow me to set the scene for you...

Ok, so earlier tonight, Dennis, Kaylee and I are all here in the office. I'm diligently working on figuring out strange computer codes in order to make the blog look all fancy, and Dennis is playing a game on the other computer. Kaylee is having a grand old time, just entertaining herself in her play center.

Dennis and I are just clicking away on our respective keyboards, when out of the blue he says, "Sera, did you fart?" I had to think about that one for a minute. "No, I don't think so," I told him. Instantly we both turn around and look at Kaylee.

She's got a huge grin plastered on that sweet little face of hers. That horrendous smell couldn't possibly have come from her. I'm noticing that her little, tiny legs are moving very fast, sliding around rather easily, when normally, she meets some resistance. Hmmm, what ever could that be about?

Dennis and I both realized what happened at the exact same moment.

(Go ahead and use your imagination about the choice words that were uttered at this point).

So, the bottom of her play center has a flat surface that her feet can rest on, right? Well, it looked like the surface of a finger painting by a master painter. Except this wasn't finger painting. It wasn't painting, and there were no fingers involved.

This work of art was fashioned with straight up poop and baby toes. Yep.

This little fiasco resulted in an immediate bath for Kaylee (whose new nickname, bestowed upon her by Dennis, is "Poop Dancer"). I felt like I was wrangling a calf holding her as Dennis ran the bath water. I couldn't let her touch her feet, her legs, her diaper - nothing. Oh, but my sweet little determined girl tried so hard to be a little pretzel. Normally such a cute attempt on her part, but this time it was my worst nightmare for fear that my child would actually put her own poop in her mouth, only because she puts everything in her mouth. I just kept thinking, "Oh, please don't put your hand in your poop. Don't eat your poop. Don't eat your poop..."

I'm standing there holding Kaylee as Dennis runs the water in her tub. We both just look at each other and immediately start to crack up. It was so funny!

And let me just say this. I'm realizing that there are words that you will never utter in your life, not unless you're a parent. I was scrub-a-dub-dubbin' Poop Dancer and the following phrase just pours out of my mouth with no forethought whatsoever: "Hey, stop squirming around so I can get the poop out from between your toes!"

This results in more laughter. I'm realizing laughing is sometimes the only way to get through some of the things you have to deal with as a parent. I mean, that was disgusting as all get out, but at the same time, it was so freakin' hilarious that it makes me giggle just thinking about it.

Man, I love that kid. Artistic toes and all...


April said...

When the poop ends up in the mouth, it goes from laughing to hurling in an instant. Been there, a couple of times.

Jenners said...

So funny! My son pooped in the bathtub once and -- pardon the pun -- scared the crap out of himself. I was just laughing hysterically and thinking of the pool scene in Caddyshack. You do end up doing stuff as a mom that you would have NEVER EVER thought you would!