Thursday, August 6, 2009

Who's afraid of the big, bad wolf?




















Woo hoo! Time for another Writer's Workshop with Mama Kat. This week's prompt:
What are you afraid of? Bop on over to Mama's Losin' It to check out more Writer's Workshop submissions. You'll be glad you did. Pinky promise, dude. ;)


There are a few things that scare me in life. Some? Well, some worse than others. But, I feel like keeping this post humorous and not too heavy, so here are some of my more petty fears. We'll save some of the deeper, darker ones for another day.

Ok, so - what freaks me out?

Let's start with crickets. Those nasty, nasty, creatures. If I'm camping, crickets are one of my favorite sounds. But, if one gets in my house? Oh, you better watch OUT. I know they're small. I know they're harmless. But, you can never tell which way the darn, frickin' things are going to hop. So, I'm afraid to whack 'em, because I'm afraid they're going to do their crazy, spastic cricket jump and land on my face or something. Crickets just give me the heeby jeebies. As do any spiders that are not daddy long legs. And, while we're at it, let's add earwigs and centipedes to the list.

Let's see, what else scares me...

Sharts. I'm afraid of getting a shart in public. Seriously, people. This is no joke. I could be walking along in Wal-Mart, just happily cruising the aisles - joyous that I am alone, without a screaming child and without a husband who thinks he is being sneaky by putting powdered donuts and a box of 87 hot and spicy barbecue chicken wings in the cart, thinking I won't notice - and feeling like I have to toot. Farting in big places is not a problem, if you know it will be quiet fart (SBD, anyone?). There are so many people around that, shoot - who is actually going to know it's YOU, right?! But, if you shart (it's when you think it's just a fart, but you actually...uh, need I say more?), then there's no hiding it. And I do NOT pack my purse the way I pack Kaylee's diaper bag. I do NOT pack an extra outfit for myself. So, this is something that scares me.

I'm also afraid of following too closely behind people on the highway, which is why I always give a minimum 2 second following distance, just like I was taught in driver's ed. I know EXACTLY where this fear stems from. I was the passenger in my friend's car when we were on a very crazy freeway, and there was a domino effect car crash in which we rear ended someone who rear ended someone else. Car got dented up, but we were fine and dandy. But, she was following waaaay too closely, and I think we could have avoided the collision had she had at least a safe distance between the cars. Now, this fear puts my husband into fits of laughter when he drives and I'm his passenger. If I the person in front of us taps their brakes and he doesn't slow down at all, my arms instinctually flail about as if I'm about to brace for impact.

I'm also afraid of scary teenagers, public transportation, and someone busting into my house while I'm sleeping.

What scares YOU?

11 comments:

Marian said...

Ahhh...crickets and their crazy legs. I can understand the fear

Connie Weiss said...

I went to Wal-Mart while in labor with my first baby and sharted my pants. My Dad was with me and he laughed so hard he sharted in his pants too.

Dan said...

Inquiring minds want to know - just where is a good place to shart? It would seem that Wal-Mart is no worse than many other places - like when you are hostessing a dinner party at home or ... {*grin*}

April said...

The shart part cracked me up! Too funny!

amw said...

I used the same prompt and also said spiders!! I have an oldish house and the centipedes come out at night too...gives me the willies! I was cracking up at your fear of public sharts :)

Kristen said...

lol! I must know...have you ever sharted? Cuz you talk like you have. And not that I should have fun at your expense...But I am :)

Booklover1212 said...

Coming over to visit from Mama Kat's blog. This really made me laugh!! Thanks for sharing your fears with us! I think I'll be back to visit again!

~ Jennifer
http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com/

Lisa Anne said...

I'm afraid of SHARTS too. No seriously.

Okay I think I've said enough!

Deb said...

oh man, you hit all the main ones i worry about. i don't like rodents, either. they freak me out BIG TIME.

becca said...

Too funny.. i wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about things that totally skeeve me out and groups of rodents was on the list (I'm ok with one, if it's ALONE). Along the same line as sharts - I'd say having to "go" while stuck in traffic is on my list. Not pleasant and could result in a shart. Love your blog!

Jenners said...

You and my husband have the sharting problem... he uses my son as a shield. I'm convinced everyone in his office (who he SWEARS don't know he farts all the time!!!) call him "Stinky" behind his back.

And I'm scared of teenagers too.

 
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