Friday, August 7, 2009

A whole new way to torture myself.

No, I'm not hanging out in front of a pastry display, stepping on the scale multiple times a week, walking by the expensive shoes in the mall, or looking up cookie recipes on the Betty Crocker website at 10:30 p.m.

I choose to invite much simpler, low-calorie and cheaper means of torture into my life. (Funny, though, because this particular torture I am about to speak of does make me want to go eat chocolate cake, buy some rockin' new shoes (by myself, thankyouverymuch) or indulge in some chewy, yummy cookies. My new torture has nothing to do with food, shopping, or eating.

So, what IS it, you ask?

TIME OUTS.

The time outs have increased by an insanely exponential amount in this house over the past two days, and I don't know who it's harder on - me, or Kaylee.

While we were on vacation a few weeks ago she started pinching - not too often, just here and there, and it really caught us off guard. She'd been so sweet and loving - hugging kids at the mall play land, being gentle, just being a nice kid. My child was not going to be the PINCHER! But, there she was. Pinching. Pinching me, her dad, her grandma.

Pinch, pinch, pinch. Pinchy, pinch pinch.

And boy, oh boy, she's been cranking it up a notch. She was pinching hard. She'd be acting super cute and then BAM! she'd give you a nasty old pinch.

We tried everything and nothing seemed to be working. And, it's so, so hard sometimes not to laugh because each pinch is preceded with the cutest little "Yow!" you ever heard accompanied, of course, with a very wide grin.

Now, we firmly tell her "NO PINCHING!" promptly set her in time out, and then walk away. We know it's helping a little bit.

The process now looks like this:

My once-angelic child approaches her victim wearing a very large and much too adorable grin. Her arm extends, pincher fingers prepare for action and she utters, "YOW" at the same time she pinches. More and more, this whole charade is followed by Kaylee shouting a resounding, "No!" and occasionally - she'll walk behind the couch, sit herself down, and hang her head in shame - putting herself in time out.

Tonight nearly pushed me over the edge, though. She'd pinch, I'd put her in time out. She'd sit there. She'd get up, walk over to me smiling, as if she's ready to carry on and have fun, and she'd pinch again. Lather, rinse, repeat 85 bajillion times. Are you getting the point? And, I'll have you know I had hot spaghetti and a slice of cheesy bread I was attempting to eat.

I could hardly take it. I wanted to throw my hands up and wave my white flag, but Dennis and I are committed to this crazy concept they call consistency. And even though the results we're getting are just baby steps, we'll keep on plugging away.

This whole parenting/discipline/helping your child become a decent human being business is ROUGH.

But, let me just add that we did get in about 10 minutes of pinch-free cuddle time before bed, and having a normal blood pressure again feels like a million bucks.

11 comments:

Becky said...

I hear ya! We don't pinch over here, but Hannah has random yelling/fit fests. Never know what is going to set her off. ANd she has started just walking herself to her room as she throws them...we have informed her that her room is the only place she is allowed to throw them. Consistency is hard! But maybe eventually, it will work?

Deb said...

oh lord. yes, i remember those days. and yes, you are totally doing the right thing by being consistent (even though you want to run away). this, too, shall pass. at some point. maybe.

Mama Kat said...

Maybe pinching is her way of expressing her love for you...ever thought of it that way??

Chris said...

OMG I love the self time out thing. It reminds me of John Ortberg listening to his daughter cry...she wails for a moment and then comforts herself by mimicry: "I know, I know, oh, yeth, I know"

♥ Kenz ♥ said...

Hmm, I don't have kids, but pinching doesn't sounds fun at all. Hehe Good luck with your cute pincher..!

Lisa Anne said...

I've been there. It's like they just want to keep pushihng your buttons to see how far they can go and what they can get away with. Time outs didn't work for my son, neither did removing his toys. he was too smart, he knew eventually that he'd get his toys or tv time back. to get him to stop, I had to pinch him back, give him a taste of his own medicine. It was the only thing that worked. Since then he's never pinched anyone. Same when he started biting people. Sounds a little mean, I mean, I didn't do it hard, but I had to teach him how it felt since time outs and other punishments were not working. Was that better then spanking him? I wish kids came with a manual.

BreAnne said...

Consistency can be hard. Here is a tip from my Grandma, that she gave my mom when my sis was little and biting. She said that if she wasn't getting the message any other way then to just bite her back - not hard of course, just to get her attention and show her biting wasn't funny and didn't feel good. When my mom finally decided to do it, my sister never bit again. Which was good because I was the target of her biting. When my son started to try out biting, I tried the talking and time out after the 3rd day when it didn't seem to be helping, I gently bit him back. He has not bitten me since. It might sound harsh or mean, but sometimes the best consequences are the natural ones, you bite, you get bitten? It worked for us. Again I stress that it is not to hurt but to get attention, and should not be done hard or forcefully.

Molly said...

Funny and so NOT funny at the same time. It is way harder on you! We are doing time out with Cooper and it feels like non stop.
Sounds like you are doing everything right! Good luck.

Jenners said...

Isn't raising a child hard -- especially when they get their own willpower and can do devious things? Isn't amazing how bad such a little child can be? It is hard ... and it amazed me when my son would do the same thing over and over and over. But you are right ... consistency is key. It is also when I used my "mean mommy" voice -- the one that says "I'm totally not joking now so quit it RIGHT NOW." It works.

the co-pilot said...

Reading your post about pinching made me realize AJ hasn't hit me in a long time. I've actually forgotten! We struggled with him on hitting for what seemed like eternity. But we used the same technique you're using and at some point, he just stopped. So be encouraged! Hang in there!

C.J said...

Time outs are also a usual occurence in our house too!!!

 
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