A summer of books

I've been zipping through books like crazy this spring and summer, and because the beautiful Angie asked, I decided to share some of my favorite books that I've read these past couple months.

If you're looking for a light, easy, very fast read and you're a fan of authors like Fannie Flagg, definitely check out Looking for Salvation at the Dairy Queen by Susan Gregg Gilmore. I'm a huge Fannie Flagg fan. If I ever had another life, I'm pretty sure I was a Southern girl in it. I love the vernacular, the culture, the accent - all of it. This book is absolutely charming. You'll fall in love with the characters, and the writing style is just delightful. I think I read it in a single day.



I know I'm way behind the times on this one, but I just read Marley and Me. I can't see the movie because I don't want to cry. Plus, I'm big on reading the book before I see the movie. This, again, was a really easy, quick read, and it's not just a story about a dog. I just fell in love with the family in this book. I was expecting to finish the book and be all sad, but I wasn't. It's such a positive story. Loved it.



 Next up? Julie and Julia. LOVED this book. Saw the movie first, actually, and I was a big fan. But, I really liked the book even better. Julie Powell is hysterical - she's one of those authors where you can tell she writes just like she talks. This book was highly entertaining and a really fun, easy read.



I mentioned a while back I was struggling with the whole concept of church (still am, but I'm making some forward strides...). I recently read If the Church were Christian, and it was very fitting for my struggles. It deal with some of my huge frustrations with the church in general, and it focused on how different church would look if people actually acted the way they supposedly believed. I didn't agree with everything in the book, but I really, really liked the overall concept, and I feel like the author made some excellent points. Very thought-provoking. It was also a really quick read - I think I read this one in a day as well.



I've recently read two books by Jennifer Weiner. Wasn't a huge fan of Good in Bed, but Little Earthquakes was definitely something to write home about. I got into the book very quickly, and I could definitely relate to it at this point in my life. It was all about adjusting to life as a new mother. It was a refreshing read.



And most recently...I've broadened my horizons into the romance novel genre. I was given the opportunity to review a new trilogy by Tessa Dare, and I'm hooked. The first in the trilogy is One Dance with a Duke, and the second one is Twice Tempted by a Rogue. While I liked the first one better, I must admit I can't wait to read the third one. I won't go into too much detail because I'll actually be reviewing the second book later this month and giving away the entire trilogy. I was expecting a bit of smut and a generic storyline. But really, the books have a few steamy scenes here and there with really good story lines, surprisingly enough.

 

I'm currently reading The Poisonwood Bible, and next up after that is a Philippa Gregory book.

Read any good books this summer?

I'll take diarrhea of the mouth with a side of insomnia for 200, Alex.

When I talked about getting my priorities straight and not feeling guilty if certain things (i.e. the blog) had to take a back burner, I really didn't think I'd go two weeks without writing at all. But, I did. And I survived. And so did you. And here we are again.

I haven't written much because - well, I'm tired. Seriously tired. As in dragging all day and feeling like I could take a nap at any given moment, and frankly - I haven't had the brain power to write anything that really makes sense.

So, instead, I've been reading a lot. Reading books by people who were, at one point, getting enough sleep to write interesting and entertaining things that actually made sense. (I'll be doing a post about some of the great books I've been reading at some point in the hopefully-not-too-distant future...)

I'm working with my doctor to get this sleep thing figured out so I can feel like a normal person again. For several weeks, I'd fall asleep with no problem at all, but I'd wake up pretty much every two hours on the dot. Can we say annoying? Ugh.

Then my doctor switched me to a different antidepressant (fondly known in this house as ABPs for any of you newbies out there) that didn't put such a huge dent in our budget that I had to wonder...hmmmm, do we buy mama's happy pills and wipe our butts with newspaper this month, or do we buy toilet paper and skip the pills?

Joking...

About the toilet paper thing, anyway. We've never really had the meds vs. toilet paper dilemma, but seriously, what I was on was crazy expensive, so we decided to give something else a try. Plus, I think Dennis and I would both agree that we'd take out a second mortgage on the house and give up the internet, TV and chocolate if it meant I could keep my ABPs.

Now, I was having the sleep trouble even before I started the new stuff, but now, instead of waking up every two hours, I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow at 10, but I wake up anywhere between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. and never fall back asleep.

It's torture.

So, we're decreasing my meds for a week to find out if that change alone will improve my sleep while still managing my anxiety/depression. Oh, how I love the waiting game!

But, in the meantime, I have a prescription for what I hope is something wonderful - Ambien, my friends.

Unfortunately, though - I'm on call at work for the next two nights, so it's like someone is dangling a Kit Kat bar in front of my face and every time I think about having a bite, they snatch it away...I've got the prescription in my hot little hands, but I don't suppose driving into work at 2 a.m. to deal with a psych patient while I, myself, am under the influence of Ambien would be a fantastic idea. So, two more nights and then hopefully I'll get a solid 8 hours in a row thanks to yet another little pill that will hopefully contribute to my happiness.

So - on top of this whole I'm not frigging SLEEPING thing, Kaylee got sick last night.

Crappity, crap, crap.

Congestion, nasty cough, snot, crankybuttedness, the whole 9. And I freaked out. It drug up everything we went through when she was so sick and ended up in the hospital, when she got sick again just after being released from the hospital, facing doctors who didn't understand the severity of her recurrent illness, and eventually taking her in for emergency surgery. That whole thing began with a simple ear infection gone really, really bad, so you know there was a part of me that was wondering if it might happen again.

This is the first time she's been sick since her surgery, and I know kids are more prone to ear infections when they've got colds. So, I'm just praying it doesn't get worse.

In other news (hey, I go two weeks without writing - you can pretty much count on getting a smorgasbord of random thoughts that I've had bottled up for 14 days...), the whole cooking healthy meals with fresh ingredients thing is still going really well. I continue to try new recipes, and Dennis is patiently going along with it. I know it's gotta sound crazy, but I have found that I love the mindless monotony of chopping vegetables. Isn't that ridiculous? But I'm being serious! I get so excited when I've got an entire meal that's cooked and I realize that I chopped every little carrot and potato and bell pepper.

It's the little things, ya know?

Mama Kat occasionally does a feature on her blog called something to the effect of "What's for Dinner?" where she has pictures and/or video of the ingredients she uses and how to make a certain recipe.

I'm pretty seriously contemplating a food-themed week coming up soon here with some ideas for healthy yet delicious cooking based on some of the recipes we've tried and loved, and some of the ways we're saving money on the good stuff. And, of course I'll have a couple giveaways to go along with all of my sage advice. Ha ha ha.

And, that's probably enough for now. This is why I shouldn't go 2 weeks without posting - I get diarrhea of the mouth and can't shut up. So, if you're still reading, do what Kaylee does when she coughs, and pat yourself on the back. You deserve it.

Starting with a clean slate.

I've never been one for New Year's Resolutions. It's just too much pressure.

On the one hand, though, I like the idea of having a brand new year. A clean slate. 12 months of possibilities. It's like a breath of fresh air.

Last year was quite a year. Sure, there was nothing monumental, but I did a lot of growing. Had a few growing pains, in fact. But - I'm grateful for all that happened and for the realizations I made.

I did a lot of reflecting on things. Things like - what really brings me joy? What do I need more of, and what can I get by with less of? What do I need to feel balanced, to feel well, to feel like my priorities are in line?

So, this year I'm not making resolutions, but I'm establishing just a few goals for myself. It's hard to not just sit here and just brainstorm stuff that I want to get done this year. Two or three months ago, if I'd decided to sit down and come up with a list of goals for 2010, the list would have easily been a few pages long.

BUT! I'm learning to put less pressure on myself. To let some things go, and to try and have less stress and anxiety in my life. So, I'm setting the bar lower. Realizing that less is more. And this is what I'm going for this year.

*Being WELL. To me, this means taking care of myself - eating right, regularly doing exercise that I love, getting good sleep, setting boundaries where they need to be set, and realizing that I don't have to do everything and be everything.

*Reading like crazy. These past couple months I've been reading voraciously, and even though it may sound corny, it's making me such a happier person! It's like I've rediscovered my favorite past time, and I am absolutely loving getting lost in a good book.

*Enjoying life and relishing in the small things. This could mean ditching the laundry for watching my backlogged episodes of Grey's Anatomy and eating a chocolate bar, or it could mean remembering that playing with Kaylee is more important than anything else I need to do in my day. It means keeping my family and friends my first priorities, and trying not to sweat stuff that really doesn't matter in the long run.

Do tell me what you are hoping for this year!

Random thoughts over a piping hot bowl of popcorn

Took a little blogging holiday, and I must say it was rather refreshing. Now I'm ready for some more talking.

First off, I must say that Orville Redenbacher is a damn genius. I think his 94% fat free butter popcorn is largely under appreciated. It's just so delectable, low in fat, and chased with a couple tall cold ones, totally fills up the belly. Guilt free and oh-so-good. Mmmm.

So - Swedish massages. Last week when I had my "moment" and dropped Kaylee off with mi madre, she slipped me a few extra Washingtons, and so I decided to get a Swedish massage (followed by a spa pedicure). Loved. Every. Minute. If I was physically able, I would have kicked and screamed and threw a fit when the masseuse told me it was over. But, I am not entirely sure I was even half conscious at that point, and I was moving at a snail's pace. I think our family needs to quit drinking milk and eating cereal, and then I can just put that money toward getting a massage every month. I need to start thinking of a way to break the news to Dennis...

My attitude has sucked lately. Ever since we brought Kaylee home from the hospital on the 14th, it was the only thing I could think about. I'd even venture to say I was obsessing about it. Just replaying the events over and over in my head and thinking about how bad it could have been, and that's just not me. I'm not a pessimist. I do my best to see the positive in everything, but the whole thing sort of just shook my world up a bit, and I let it get to me more than I should have.

Along those same lines, I got a call today from the hospital she was at and found out that our bill is $13,000 and that's before the doctors bill for their services - that fine chunk 'o change is just for the hospital facility charges. All I can say is I am SO glad we have insurance so we won't have to pay the entire amount. I guess we won't be having any trouble paying that deductible this year...

So, a while back I told you I was getting back on track. Eating better. Taking care of myself. Reading. Working out. Trying to lose a bit of extra poundage off the badonkadonk. I'm taking the slow route, but I've managed to lose 5% of my body weight since I started Weight Watchers again eight weeks ago. It feels good to fit into my pants again, and - believe it or not - I even have some pants that are loose - what, WHAT!?!?!

Here are some things that have helped me the most with the whole eating better, working out, losing weight thing...

Hungry Girl - namely, her book 200 Under 200, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Spray (Hello! Zero Fat. Zero Calories. Hallelujah!), Zumba, Pump Iron (group weight lifting/cardio class), of course my dear, sweet Gilad, Mommy and Me class, and eating chocolate every day. Maybe I'll talk more about that stuff another day.

But for now, I'm calling it a night.

And no - I'm not kidding about the chocolate every day. I'm serious. A little bit each day keeps me from totally overindulging. I highly recommend it. Personally, I think it's a pretty genius plan.

It's just what I need.

We all have days (weeks, months...) when we just don't feel right.

The older I get, I'm trying harder to realize exactly what it is that keeps me ticking and keeps me healthy. When my life starts to feel off kilter, I've gotta take a step back, look at things, and try to figure out where I went wrong, because when one area is off, it seems to have a domino effect on all the other areas of my life.

A couple months ago, things started going downhill again. I was feeling depressed. I had quit exercising - period. I was eating whatever and however much I wanted, and I wasn't getting outside much. I wasn't blogging like I wanted to. I quit reading for a while.

And all the while, I was so blind to it. It was like my eyes were just fuzzy over the whole thing, and I think I blamed it on being busy or something trivial like that.

So, I've made some changes in the past weeks, and things are starting to feel normal again. I spoke with the doctor who treated me for postpartum depression about how I was feeling(jury's still out on whether some of my recent symptoms were depression or a side effect from birth control - hopefully I'll have an answer on that soon), and tweaked a few other parts of my lifestyle.

So, in no particular order, these are the things I've realized are oh-so-helpful in making my life feel well-rounded and somewhat normal. Well, normal for me anyway.

1. Time alone. And, I'm not just talking about time alone on the toilet without being bothered (although that would be lovely). I'm talking about time just for me - whether it's walking around Target (window shopping or "window" shopping - *wink, wink*), having the whole house to myself for a couple hours, or going to a restaurant by myself for lunch. I've always needed my alone time, and now that I'm a mom, I need it more than ever. When I don't get it, I am not a happy camper.

2. Exercise. I've always loved being active, from taking gymnastics and ballet as a little munchkin, to playing volleyball in middle school, to developing a love for step aerobics in high school and kickboxing in college, I've always loved being active. Let's not forget to throw in outdoor stuff like hiking, either. I've been consistently exercising for a little over a month now, and I'm working out 6-7 days a week, for about an hour at a time. It's a guaranteed hour every day where I don't have to think about anything else, and I get to blow off steam, and make my body healthier (and buffer, and leaner, and meaner). It's something I've always loved, but now it's an absolutely necessary part of who I am and what I need to do to feel healthy.

3. Healthy foods, appropriate portions, and a few treats here and there. I've gotten great results with Weight Watchers in the past (once before Kaylee - stopped that time as soon as I found out I was pregnant, and once after Kaylee), but after the last time, I decided to discontinue the online program, thinking I could save money and that I was disciplined enough to choose healthy foods and portions on my own. Not so much...I got off track a few times, and I found myself signing up for the program yet again. Right now, I've got a goal to lose a few more pounds. I was sick of my cute pants not fitting, and I was sick of wearing baggy tops to hide the muffin top. This time, my main goal is to get back on track with healthy portions, and I'm planning to stay on the program for quite a while, just to give me the guidance I need to keep making the right food choices.

4. Time alone with Kaylee, and time alone with Dennis. It's so easy for me to get wrapped up in being "busy," but living like that detracts from the most important things. Then, a week goes by and realize I was more concerned about a messy house than just simply having fun. If I get regular alone time with Kaylee and with Dennis, I'm so much happier. They help me slow down and remember what's important, and what's really not so important in the grand scheme of things.

5. Being outside. I remember days when I was home alone with Kaylee when she was a newborn. I'd start to feel all cooped up and anxious and cranky, and then I'd realize I hadn't set foot outside in a couple (or a few) days - not even past the front porch. Not okay, people, NOT okay! I need to be outside every day. Preferably for a longer period of time than it takes me to walk to my mailbox, but even that will do if I'm desperate.

6. My friends and family. They let me vent. They don't judge me. They let me be myself, and they listen when I feel like I'm falling apart. No matter what, they don't go anywhere.

7. A job. I may whine about it from time to time (hey, who doesn't?), but I love my job, and I love that it gives me scheduled time to be around other adults in a professional setting. It lets me use another part of my brain, and it makes me appreciate my time at home with my daughter even more. Plus, it gives her a break from me, which I think is also really important.

8. Prayer. To be honest with you, I know if this was a more regular part of day-to-day life, things would go a lot smoother. Things seem to go better, or - at least - I seem to handle them better when I start my day off with a prayer, and throw a few up throughout the day, too. It's something I'm always working on.

9. Reading for fun. For my whole life, this has been one of my very, very favorite hobbies, and as an adult, it's one way I deal with stress, by escaping into the pages of a book. When I don't have a book that I'm reading, chances are, there's probably another area of my life starting to crumble.

10. The blog. Writing has always been another one of my passions, and I really wish I'd discovered blogging a long time ago. I hate it when I have those spurts where I go a few days without blogging. Writing on a regular basis really helps me deal with stuff. It just feels good to get my thoughts out of my head, and on to my blog. It's therapeutic, and fun, and it's another hobby that brings me enjoyment.

So...what about YOU? What makes you tick? What is it that you just have to have in your life in order to feel like you have balance? Leave me a comment about it!

Mommy's very own milestone

Kaylee's had plenty of them. Smiling, rolling over, eating her first bite of real food, laughing, making her first masterpiece out of poo.

It's time I had one of my own.

I'm so very proud to tell you that I finished reading an actual book. Not the Goodnight Moon, Guess How Much I Love You, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day type of book. I'm talking an actual grown-up book.

I can't even tell you how excited about this I am! I feel like I've salvaged part of my pre-baby self and it's the best feeling ever!

In my pre-baby days, I was an avid reader. My favorite things to read are fiction books. I love fun books that are easy to get through and are entertaining. I love the Liz Curtis Higgs series that's set in bonny Scotland, and I love authors like Billie Letts (author of Shoot the Moon), Sue Monk Kidd (The Secret Life of Bees), and Fannie Flagg (Fried Green Tomatoes, and Welcome to the World, Baby Girl!).

I just love a well-written, witty, entertaining read that paints a vivid picture in my mind of the characters and the setting. If a book doesn't hook me from the get go, I quit reading it. I'm super picky when it comes to the quality of an author's writing. Even though I'm from the Midwest and Southwest, I love books that are set in the South for some reason. I don't know why. I just do.

So, anyway, back to my proud moment...

I had several failed attempts at achieving this whopper of a milestone. I think I've tried reading three other CHAPTER books in my postpartum life. Never made it past the first 15 pages.

But that, my friends, was until I cracked open the pages of Twilight. I will admit, when I first heard about the series, I thought it sounded cheesy and like it was full of teenage drama that I didn't really care to read about. But, I decided to give it a try.

My sister-in-law owns the whole series, so I figured, what the heck - if it takes me 26.3 months to read the first one, at least I won't owe the library outrageous late fees. So, I started reading it, and I've been hooked ever since. I zipped through that first book like it was nobody's business, and I'm now on book two, and I'm totally rooting for Bella and Edward, and occasionally I get all tense and clench my jaw for fear that he just might eat her alive, but so far, he hasn't. Thank you, Edward.

It feels good to read for fun again. Let me clarify - it feels good to read books that aren't about ladybugs, hippos that talk, or Little Nutbrown Hare. It feels good to read a book that's printed on paper instead of a book that's printed on cardboard. Don't get me wrong - I love reading Kaylee her bedtime stories (and I think I enjoy Sandra Boynton's Pajama Time and Let's Dance, Little Pookie even more than Kaylee does...), but dang it, it just feels so darn good to read a book for me again!

Hasta manana - it's time for my storytime...